There are many days when parenting is far from being a joy! It’s hard work with very little reward. When you’re in the trenches with your little one or little ones it can really seem that life is pulling you along. Finding the escape from this thinking and emerging happier and more content isn’t easy. Simply because the children are still with you and this situation probably hasn’t changed too much. Developmental changes use to blindside me with more backchat or movement so they’re getting into more things. Yet at the back of my mind I knew that a few things helped me, if I could just remember to do them.
Look after myself
I found I had all the time for the children but what about me? By the time everything I wanted to do was done I was pooped out! Flipping that round I now prefer the quiet morning hours when I’m happier and alert to layout ideas for the day.
Pause and reflect
Taking time to listen into the silence and not fall asleep through complete exhaustion. I prayed, kept trying to see the positive when a negative popped in and took pictures. The mobile phone is both a blessing and a pain. As soon as you get it out the children are drawn to it.
Instead of a gratitude journal which has helped me in the past. I found taking pictures of fun moments, everyday interactions helped me. As I scroll through our day or a previous day I could see the beauty, love, funnies, development and spirit of each child. It was a welcome boost instead of the visions of wailing and tantrums that spun around my head.
Many parents are hurting and having a tough time with young children. We all do at one time or other. Universally we all feel isolated and that our children must be worst than everyone else before and to come.
Emotionally we’re finding it very hard.
After a particularly long night of up and down to two children at that time. It was morning, we were trying to get ourselves ready to go out.
With my independent preschooler with his ‘I can do it’ attitude, coupled with the phone going I was away for moments. Moments…
Enough for the zip to break on the jacket. Nothing that couldn’t be fixed but the frustration levels were rising. What with lack of sleep and new things that the phone call had placed on my heart.
Thinking quickly we doubled up on jumpers, sweaters with him looking more like a Michelin man we made it out the door.
I probably looked thunderous.
I know my head was spinning with todos and all those conversations you have in your head.
We were going for a walk.
Just around the neighbourhood but it was full of greenery, immensely calming and frankly I craved it today.
I think the boys did too.
On route I met locals who not only stopped, to talk to the baby but smiled at me. I can’t tell you how welcome it was to see that smile. No judgement over my Michelin man. The boys gave their big smiles and we were off. Further around our loop we met another then another.
By the time we were home the moods of us all had shifted mostly in part to a change in scenery and the gift of strangers who perhaps saw a frazzled mum, smiled with her and talked about nothing in particular.
No matter what’s going on in your home. Take care of yourself, pause and reflect and make time for connections these keep you counterbalanced in our micro world of children. They keep us whole while we plod, sometimes crawl, often time walk through our routines.
Dawn @ PricklyMom says
I needed this post right now. Tomorrow is the first day of school, and it can’t come soon enough: I’ve been neglecting myself and running on fumes ALL SUMMER. I know everyone SAYS we have to take care of ourselves, but it’s hard to actually DO it.
We’re back to school tomorrow too Dawn. Good time for a quick reset and refocus. Well deserved.
Jody Hessling says
What a wonderful way to look at life, your boys are blessed. I am always reminding myself to step back and count my blessings. My boys are teens now and I am quickly realizing my time with them is very precious since they will be off leaving me soon. Enjoy your time with them, it goes too fast. Best to you, Jody