Beach and swimming!
One of the fun things about parenting boys is their energy and emotion in everything they do.
It’s not one ice cream.
It’s pleading and many reasons why we should have it right now followed up by a final- how it is not fair that they don’t get an ice cream. With communication like this much of the day quickly becomes a lot of no, not now, another time as they request and demand things.
What I could see is clearly they had opinions, ideas and while I didn’t want or need to give into every demand or whim there had to be another way to find out their wants, needs and dreams.
I know for myself I love to dream and find a concrete way to get from where I am now to where I want to be. I have the power to make some crucial choices.
What if you’re the spanner in the works of their dreams
But I’m the spanner in the works when it comes to the children and their wants, wishes and dreams. Are you too?
What if I could put off but not forget.
Add their ideas somewhere and value.
Defer to see if this was really a strong desire.
Honor the whim from time to time.
Really listen and be mindful of them without feeling like I’m squashing their dreams?
A place to honor our children’s wants, hopes and dreams
One of the questions we ask during the family roundtables tackles this question. In a relaxed atmosphere we allow the silence of ideas that have been swirling around in their heads a birth. ( And the other more vocal ones!)
It usually comes out in one big rush of jumbled words as they piece together and build on each other’s ideas.
I want to go to the ice cream shop more.
Yes and get that pistachio one. That was good. No opening that shell thing.
But it won’t be the same if we go all the time.
I liked it that we went with dad.
The cone was sooooo yummy. We should go every week.
Do you remember that man who walked by…..
Oh yeah! …..( tangent story)
Listening to their tales, recaps and memories of an ice cream trip made us smile. Given the space and opportunity it was easier to tune into their wants, needs and dreams.
Like all parents we won’t be honoring all of them but to knowing them gives us a chance to do them.
Creating the space
There’s a special space we must create in our simple adult world to honor these requests. The ice cream experience was first mentioned at a family roundtable gathering. I’m sure it was mentioned before at random times but it never really stuck. There wasn’t the time and space for whatever reason to give that idea the attention it deserved to make a better decision than dismissing it.
Choosing to listen and giving the space for their wants, needs and dreams to be heard is an on purpose decision we can all make.
It’s a process and not a sprint.
Not our perfect every time.
Making the decision is easy to be more intentional about hearing and honoring. Choosing the areas rather than the whole is a little harder. Instead of getting caught up in eating the whole elephant of parenting ( Trying to fix it all) focus instead on a small aspect .
What books do you like? would love to read? Would love to hear? Would you like us to do together?
We don’t just get their wants, needs and dreams you’ll hear their struggles too.
Is it an aspect of play that you need to honor- their love for sensory fun and connection?
Are you looking to integrate montessori or unschooling ideas because you see the benefit or have heard a little and really want to see how this would set free their dreams?
There’s a resource Mindful Nurturing ebook bundle with 6 books on sale today, Wednesday that I know you’ll love as it’s full of connecting everyday ideas that speak to the voice of our children being heard.
Honoring our children’s wants hopes and dreams.
At the beginning of the summer my five year old said he wanted to go to the beach and go swimming.
Two really simple requests- who doesn’t want to go to the beach and swimming.
If he’d asked only in a moment while I was half listening, while something else was going on. It may have been lost.
During our cuddles, family roundtable and still times together it came up enough that I knew this was important.
Both done.
One very happy five year old.
For more connecting resources on mindful nurturing check out the ebundle sale today. Glad you stopped by today and for reading. Would love to hear your voice.
Sharing time: What would your children love to do that’s within your reach to grant?
