One minute they love each other the next they can be like Tom and Jerry! Sibling relationships is our topic today with Dr Laura Markham of ahaparenting.com sharing scripts and diving deep into how we as parents can effectively deal with sibling rivalry and disagreements. We also focus on the positive of how to develop and encourage sibling relationships.
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Sight Words Around the House: Mixed Up Words :: The Pleasantest thing
First up an interesting article about the long term consequences of how our siblings treated us and the input or lack of input our parents did. As parents what do we react to and what do we let slide?
Bully in the next bedroom – are we in denial about sibling aggression?
In light of that article about-What happens when sibling become aggressive towards each other and what should we be doing as parents? When these questions are written here it seems a really easy answer. Duh! We must intervene and do something. When our children are doing things we’re not always there, things get twisted and situations manipulated. Reacting at the time isn’t always our best decision. Dr Laura shares a simple way through skills, standards, respect, empathy and relating.
For us to model conflict resolution we have to know how ourselves .If we haven’t been taught then we need to learn this first.
“You leave your sister alone…” and other expressions. You are mean to one and sympathetic to the other….. Is this a good or bad thing?
What is the way to intervene with your kids and make everyone safe and at the same time not reinforcing the role of perpetrator and victim?
Submitted question: How do you handle or encourage getting on with your sibling when they are 18months ( twins)?
- stay as close as possible
- use scripts to model interaction and navigate the situation
What happens though when you’re not there and something happens? What’s the first few things you would do?
- Curb your reaction
- Go to the one hurt and ignore the other.
- Help the hurt one find their voice
- Model the repair
What happens if one pushes another over because the other child took his toy?
- No scolding
- Go to the one hurt and ignore the other.
- Model the repair
- Lead them to each other and help them find their voice and express
Is there a place for independent play and leaving them alone to work things out?
Tips on children that you know are just going to go straight back to hurting the same child
What happens if you are dealing with singletons of multiple ages? Same rules. Same situations?
Ways to foster sibling harmony to build relationships
- age gap between children
- temperament of each child
- You set the tone in the house
- What you say to each of them about the other one
What happens when you here loud angry voices from another room and you need to deal with it in mixed aged families? How we respond is really important
- You’re both so upset
- The rule in our house is…
- Is going to be okay.. ( Kindling on or calm it down:)
- Tony sit here and Daisy sit here.
- Let’s all take some deep breaths to calm down
- Maybe use a talking stick
Dr Laura goes on to model how to facilitate this conversation between the two siblings so each get heard.
- What are you doing this year to have a simple holiday season that nurtures your family?
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