There’s a lot of hustle in the mornings to get the kids up and out. We have our morning routines. We try not to nag and fuss. It’s great when each child can get up and move through the morning without us but it’s not every day, not all the time and maybe we’re not there yet. So morning runs become tense because we’re all up against a time limit. We’re all seeking positive connection. It’s just complicated.
It’s not a calm time but it can be a connecting time.
Our voices are sharp and loud or maybe silent and absent. The tension is rising.
There are two points in the morning run that we try to hit as parents, whatever their ages and bring positive connection, calm and conversation.
- Leaving out the door
Both these points allow for a time to slow down, catch breath and do something different. If we rush rush all the time there’s no built in pause. We need a pause in the morning to catch breath, think of next, imagine the day, prepare and be right. If we rush head long without having times to stop and pause we often find out too late that we missed something.
Positive connection at breakfast
Perfection would be our son or sons sitting down with us for breakfast together. This is our most unlikely situation but we encourage them to sit down as we continue the kitchen duties that keep us in the same room. This is a win. This time could be a time to gulp down or chow down quickly. Breakfast is what’s often skipped if we are running late so this might be a new choice to choose this time for connection. Having this particular time on our radar helps us all start the day off right with breakfast. It’s a good check in. We notice. We adjust. We support.
Leaving out the door is also a good check in time of positive connection as we get to say some fun things to set up the day even if it is just a hug, blown kiss ( if they are mad at us) or an I love you. Our aim as parents is to watch them leave with a wry smile on their face. Humor or jokes help that and it’s also a chance to redress the balance after the morning getting ready.
Keeping that positive connection as they leave
- Do you have your smile in your pocket? ( incase you need to find it later)
- Have you switched your ears on ( click as we imitate it) ?
- Today is a clean slate where mistakes and learning all happen.
- However mad, late or okay everyone says goodbye. How you say goodbye is up to you. We’ve been through many. A good attitude starts the day off well.
Conversation might not be easy but just being in the same area helps with connection. Mini Post it notes labels support connection when you can’t be there. We’re trying out some new breakfasts from around the world instead of the traditional cereal and milk breakfast we’ve been used to. He needed something more filling and lasting. So in the microwave I had a bowl of soup ( leftovers) and a little sticky note, reminding him about the naan bread to go with it. First day. First time. It needed to be effortless. Sometimes you get notes back. A note says a lot.
Mellow calm times in the mornings
Conversation isn’t like at meal times later in the day when you can have Character conversations and ask about the day because a lot has happened and everyone wants to share. Mornings are mellow. Mellow times as everyone is waking, dragging and going at different speeds. Here are two positive connection and conversations that happen that give you a chance to talk about something together, in the moment or later. The common cry in many households is that you don’t have much in common to talk about. Here the journey in the car or conversation for later starts from these two things. The seed is planted and time gives us chance to have opinions.
Positive connection, calm and conversation starts with these resources
Classics for kids works for elementary and middle school children. They play a selection of classic music around a theme or a composer and recently they’ve had some interviews too. You don’t have to monitor what might be played ( Bonus in the morning; one less thing to do) The music is interesting and each one is different and it’s not long. It’s not just the music but we learn background and the story behind the music. I don’t know if they take it all in but the music certainly holds a calm and tense-free space in a household that is busy ramping up for departure.
A new discovery for us is, Listenwise with daily current news events with questions. Sometimes it can feel like Russian roulette when you turn on the news, will the news be okay to listen to or will I have to monitor it all? If you’re looking for news and conversation without the worry then I think you’ll like Listenwise.
We found a short news story ( 2minutes 6 secs) that we could listen to right there on the smartphone while eating breakfast. Afterwards there’s a chance to answer comprehension questions, if we like, but to be honest they launched straight into their own questions and conversation. They did look at the questions afterwards. As a platform we loved it. Short news items some current news and other stories. It’s great for upper elementary, middle and high schoolers. There are other great premium features. But for parents at home the basic free plan worked really well for us.
Find other calm and connection ideas as you listen to my parenting podcast on iTunes and Stitcher