There are active ways to support family life that we each know works right now in our families.
As we transitioned from our home to a hotel to another country, another hotel before coming into a new home there were lots of things we just weren’t able to maintain. But there were many things we just knew if we hung onto them family life would be so much easier for us all. I’m sure you feel the same.
Whether it’s due to a move to a new place or wanting to change the atmosphere at home, here are 5 ways to support family life at home to try.
Retelling stories from family history
Our families have a rich history, if only we heard more about it. We can learn so much about family through the experiences they had and learn why things were perhaps the way they were. Children find it hard to believe that their parents made mistakes, reaped consequences and made poor choices. It’s here the life lessons come up naturally and how we learn from others. It gives us a sense of who we are within our families and how often we’ve changed as parents. ( Gives our children hope!)
Raise your expectations
Expecting children to do better as they get used to a new system, behaviour or plan is a natural progression. Sometimes we get stuck. When we teach the four year old to clean their room we allow that it’s not going to be the same as how we do it. They grow into this skill by doing. But if we keep the same expectation for their nine year old brother we’re doing them a disservice. They are not learning to support family life. Not all things will be age related but often we forget to raise our expectations regularly to fit the growing maturity of our children.
Being around people that are different than your family experience
It’s easy to stay around people that are just like you. One thing that being around different people has taught our family and supported our family life is the conversations that are sparked. We learn about festivals, observances, holy and high days, food practices, clothing, rituals as well as an ability to ask questions and see things from a range of perspectives.
Many of our worries are magnified.
When we live and mix in a wide social and cultural gatherings our family values are shaped, prodded and ignited. We live in a multicultural world and we don’t know where are children will work and live. Let’s not the first encounter of different people be to them when they are entering adulthood but often and frequently when they are young as their minds are forming.
Holding the space for down time, unstructured play, silliness and quiet
As we bounce from season to season of family as parents we need to hold the space for things we know that strengthen the family and nourish our individual children ( and us!) The quiet ones in the family need their downtime to recharge and continue to do great things. We need time for silliness, fun and laughter within our family and it not be such a serious tiring place for everyone. We all need quiet and stillness to reorganize. With the pressure to conform and imitate what everyone else is doing we must look within our own families and choose the best ways to support our family life at home according to the season. My season and family will be different to yours.
Be specific
“Go tidy your room!”
“You are being disrespectful to your sister!”
Just like the phrase, “Good job!” These types of phrases are way to vague for our family members to really achieve the aim we have in mind. The more specific we are saying exactly what we want or would like to see, the better the result. We want our children to succeed yet we often miss this one rule.
Be specific.
“Go pick up all the books of the bed, the clothes on the floor and then come and tell me.”
As they get older I’ve found saying go tidy your room usually starts with books off the bed, clothes off the floor because this is how they learned to do it. There’s a system and way to tackle a huge area.
There’s always time to work on family atmosphere and create a place where children and adults want to stay. There’s time to grow together as a family and support it by trying these surefire ways to support family life.
