What do you love to do is a powerful question to ask our children.
There was an opportunity a few weeks ago that I had a long time to kill while we waited for something, that I don’t remember now. We were having a conversation about this and that. I asked that question. It was like going down a rabbit hole. I don’t think I had to say very much for the next few minutes as I heard a long list, stories and eventually he run off to show me something. It was one of those one off just thought up questions. I was so happy to hear the enthusiasm and learn what he loved.
I tried it again with another son and there was a pause. Lots of qualification of the difference between love and like and a few things came out. It made him think but no babbling, energy and enthusiasm.
The last time I tried it at the dinner table after we’d finished and we were eating dessert. I figured everyone would be feeling good. Here we all added something and learnt a little about each other. Now as a parent there were a few things I didn’t know. I loved how they shared how they loved to do somethings but found it hard or we didn’t do it enough. Good information for us.
Growing Family Conversations
For the past few weeks on this 31 day journey we’ve been looking at growing family conversations. We’re initiating conversations to grow closer to our family.
The first week we had conversation with ourselves- things to talk about. From day nine we moved onto talking to our spouse or partner about family conversations.
Today on day sixteen we talking about growing family conversations with our kids. Try the conversations yourself and it’s fun for your partner to do the same and compare notes. Don’t know about you but our kids say one thing to me and another to their dad. Plus they remember new things and change their minds.
Having these types of conversations awakens the reflective part of them. It’s lovely to see them looking back and thinking forward. Essential skills we all need. If they are not ready just being in the company of others doing the same gives a lovely model. If you like to help them out during the I’m bored phase then knowing their individual loves we can steer them to do something that will ignite their creativity and make them feel good. Usually we might say a random list of ideas but now we have a carefully crafted list.
Conversation: Ask your children What do you love to do? See if you can make some of it happen in the near future. It’s this follow through that will bring you closer.
Come back and share your experiences,and stories . How did you get on?
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Kelly Pietrangeli says
I’ve just managed to get my 11 year old to look up from Minecraft long enough to ask him this question. He loves baseball, basketball, tennis and travelling. I told him I love travelling too as well as dancing, eating nice meals out – and watching him play sports 🙂
Hey Kelly! It’s always interesting what they say.