Mother calls her child. ” Ellis?”
What response would you expect to hear and would it matter to you..” Yes mum?” or “What?”
Socially, culturally and allsorts of allys this is different for each person. Which is a problem.
When you reply, “What?” it can be hit or miss whether this response is accepted unquestioned depending on where you are in the world and with whom.
When you reply, “Yes ( name)? it seems like it would be less likely to cause question.
Whether we like it or not, how we speak and what we say is really important. Not just our words but our actions along with the words. We may not like the fact that what? ellicits a visceral reaction in many people but it’s important to have these types of conversation with our children so they begin to see the intricacies or complications of tone.
Lots of the petty squabbling in our home at the moment is over about the way we say things to each other. Here you are! We are trying to teach them the importance of using a consilidatory tone from the outset; it often feels like an uphill battle.
The way we talk to our children impacts our relationship with them.
“Get over here ..”
Our voice is really powerful in our homes. It proclaims our mood, masks sadness, expresses enthusiasm and unearths sorrow and frustration.
Who would you want to be around? Who do you want to play with on a consistent basis?
We should set the tone through teaching and training.
The thing that most of my friends say they enjoy the most about date night is the ability to have a conversation that starts and stops when we desire it rather than a gazillion times by our children. It’s difficult as some interruptions are necessary. How do we get that gentleness, respect, pause and listen we’re used to as adults across to our children.
Playtime is much more fun if we start with the right tone of voice…. our vital voice.
Questions to consider::
- Change the way you greet your children in the morning. Invent a bright way tomorrow and surprise them.
- When your child calls you by name answer using Yes, ( their name) and catch their reaction. ( Did/Does it make a difference in your family?)
- Does interrupting bother you and what ideas can you do to change it?
- We all have bad days, in general, how do you use your voice to talk to your children on a consistent basis ?
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