We’ve just had a recent move.
All the boys are experimenting with sleeping in the same room and a room and a room for activities. It’s been interesting the morning wake up. They have their own built in snooze as each alarm clock goes off. Our rooms are in different places now so you can hear the chit chatter as they slowly wake up and get going. On went the music from Star Wars as they all became Darth Vader- dun dun dun dun for while.
The music was derailing the fine start.
From my vantage point when do I go in and encourage? Do I go in and roar? Do I do nothing and wait?
I waited. But I didn’t stay there.
Put on a load of laundry and put on some jazz while I was downstairs. Just recently found my cd during the move. I felt a lot better.
The boys appeared one by one to get ready for breakfast and practice their instruments.
It was good to see them. Hugs, kisses and smiles all around.
This morning had to be deliberate with myself on the atmosphere I would create. We bring with us our worries and fears especially things on our minds like extended family, our work, problems with money, marital strive and the house echoes with the atmosphere we create.
All to often we think about atmosphere always has to be upbeat and positive. This is neither desirable or achievable in any house. It’s a bit odd really as it seems to deny feelings. Family life is full of ups and downs. Family atmosphere will go up and down too with lots of even. I want my children to grow up in an upbeat and positive home but when their parents are at odds with each other, have stuff going on or just having a bad day I want them to see the resolution of it. I want them to be confident that in our home things get back to an even keel. Sometimes we need to back off. We need to be there and listen. We need a hug or touch. We need to say the third or fourth thing that comes to mind and not the first thing. We need to walk in their shoes.
Yesterday the focus of the 31 days of growing family conversations was about the power of words said to our children and spoken in our home. Today we’re looking more at the atmosphere and moving onto family questions after a week of kid questions. If we peeled off the roof of your home and listened in would we see some resolutions happening.
When we snapped and were sarcastic because we were tired did you get a chance to apologize or talk about the situation in a child friendly way.
Mummy was a little snip snappy wasn’t she. I’m sorry.
The boys usually give me a hug and offer me a chance for time out. Which I think is hilarious because we don’t do time out in the way they suggest it to me. They also repeat back things I tell them about how we use our words and what we should do if we can’t say something nice. You just have to smile.
When everyone was in the whinny stage calming music would bring them back or change of scene. Going outside! Rainy days and big splashes! We have the power to change the atmosphere in our homes.
There are generally hotspots in most families around atmosphere and where it gets toxic. We slide between fine and horrible and feel terrible. We have the power to impact the atmosphere in our home from the morning or when they come home from school. Pick a time. Pick a toxic hotspot where there atmosphere isn’t quite how you’d like. It’s not about Mary Poppins parenting or perfect parenting. It’s about creating a climate at home where our children can thrive. What’s your atmosphere at home been today?
Conversation: What is the dominant family atmosphere like- light? close? allowing space? dictator? military? balanced? even? full of hotspots?
If we peeled back your roof at dinnertime, bedtime, afterschool, morning, storytime, idependent play or sibling playtime or another time in family life how is the family atmosphere?
Come back and share your experiences,and stories . How did you get on?
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