When you go to a conference, playgroup or event there’s usually a getting to know you activity that we all groan when it’s mentioned. It’s the awkward bit when we have to find out about each other. Although once it gets started it’s usually the most enjoyable and memorable part of the trip. It’s here you get to make really good connections.
It’s the initiating that’s often difficult.
Same problems with our spouse and partner.
We want to skip the continual getting to know them phase. Because we already know them.
The interesting thing about becoming a parent is all the changes you go through. Some are really simple things like getting up to a baby instead of always the alarm clock. But we as people change too. All those promises we made to ourselves about how we would raise our children or what we would do in the supermarket with the screaming child. Once we’re in the situation suddenly we have a different outlook.
An incident happens with your spouse and you know that he’ll react one way and shockingly he doesn’t. You’re horrified and now how do you talk about it or vice versa. All of a sudden we find our values, methods and behavior are not as aligned as we once thought. But now we’re in the moment. What do we do?
For the whole of the last week, ( or first 8 days) . We first looked at starting family conversations with ourselves. Talking ourselves into a better mindset and asking a few difficult questions. We went first because we often get to be last on the list. No more. This is the first step into growing family conversations.
This next week now we move onto having conversations with our spouse and partner.
Getting to know
We’re big fans of table topics for family and use them at dinner time. We’ve also bought a couples one. While some of the questions we skip there are some really good gems in there. These’s also a wide range of table topic sets to choose and with hundreds of cards time to find a card that suits you.
These cards are great because they have no agenda.
You’re not subtly trying to hint. There’s no sulking- guess why I’m mad or punishment silence.
Just time for some getting to know each other type activities now you’re parents and your views have shifted, adjusted and grown. These getting to know you type activities are a good chance to have laugh and smile together. Often the first thing to go in our parenting lives. Seek out the questions that will make you smile, reminisce, grow and learn together. You don’t have to choose the difficult questions yet.
Conversation: discuss some fun get to know you questions. Here’s one to get you started.
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